


let me show you how to dance

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Bringing back the dead to life, Eventual Fluff, Gothic, Investigation, M/M, Mystery, Protect These Two For Me, Second Chance, angst with happy ending, eventual established relationship, stuff like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-12 22:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11746875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "What are you?"The Beautiful Something rolls his big set of cinnamon eyes. "Told you, I'm a ghost. You weren't listening to me, Iwa-chan!""You're pretty heavy for a ghost.""Ewww!" The self-proclaimed 'Ghost' flicks him on the forehead. "You just don't call a poor ghost 'heavy', Iwa-chan! Where's your manner? Never ever body-shame dead people."Iwaizumi had given up on his dream to be a detective. But that Halloween night, a ghost of his almost lover shows up in his small apartment; saying that he has to help him uncover his queer death. What's a man like him can do but go along with it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> APLOGIES. though, it's not really necessary, because Oikawa-san is in actuality god and he doesn't die X""D

**ATHLETE OF TOKYO UNIVERSITY VOLLEYBALL TEAM WAS FOUND DEAD IN HIS APARTMENT SATURDAY MORNING. INVESTIGATION IS HELD TO FIND THE KILLER.**

**SHINING AND PROMISING YOUNG VOLLEYBALL ATHLETE WAS MURDERED.**

**TOKYO UNIVERSITY VOLLEYBALL TEAM REPRESENTATIVE ON THEIR MURDERED ATHLETE: LOSING OIKAWA TOORU IS THE GREATEST, MOST PAINFUL LOSS TO US.**

### 

Topic: who had killed Oikawa Tooru?

**friedlunch:** i think what everyone needs to do at this moment is stop being so nosey and let’s us pray for the best output to Oikawa-kun’s investigation. i agree that Oikawa-kun is such a cheerful and friendly individual, and everyone is missing him already – especially those who are his closest friends and teammates – but there’s no need for us to keep going at it.

 **bassethound06:** i think you need to shut up and let everyone talk if that’s what they want to do. if talking about it helps reduce their pain and sorrow, then let them talk! god.

 **hinderlights:** how could these people fight on message board about a dead guy?

 **messazes:** wow, the topic is very… strong. for god’s sake people, have you seen Oikawa’s guys lately? Kuroo hasn’t attend classes since Monday, even Bokuto doesn’t talk unless you talk to him about urgent matter, Suga-chan is goddamn dysfunctional, Daichi seems like he could snap any moment, and Matsukawa is literally gone. what the fuck did the OP even think? you need to take down this message board. learn to respect these people.

 **soundofcicads:** anyone. literally. of course Oikawa was a nice guy, but that was just what we knew him as, right? there were sides of Oikawa that we don’t know. so, in answer to the topic question: anyone could be the killer. we all don’t know everything about him. this stupid message board is damn exhausting to read. no need to get all dramatic. we’ll all die.

 **borntobewhack:** the last time i saw Oikawa was when he walked out from Mikoto’s apartment in the afternoon. he looked so trashed. pretty sure he was hangover. but he still smiled and greeted me back when i greeted him good morning. if only i knew the next day he would be dead, i would have asked him to join for some brunch and invited him over to stay with me and my flatmate so that he wouldn’t be in his flat alone when the killer striked.

 **knowyourmarteer:** Mikoto? as in… Mikoto Tooru?

 **wineyminey:** what if Mikoto killed Oikawa, though? I mean, we all know Mikoto was constantly being compared to Oikawa because their same first name and how Oikawa was like women magnet, and so is Mikoto? like, Mikoto is shallow enough to use it as reason to kill.

 **maletteandmachette:** fuck. i hate Mikoto. he’s damn stupid womanizer.

 **jupitersatenite:** he’s a stupid womanizer, all right. too stupid to pull this shit, too.

 **fritatafringes:** why the heck do you imbecile and judgemental assholes suddenly turn this board into hatred board to Mikoto? guy is innocent, okay? we were out in Shibuya for a house party in my girlfriend’s apartment. he couldn’t kill him if he was monopolizing my girl’s couch to screw. if you don’t know, you shouldn’t speak out of your shit chute. damn assholes.

 **marmaladehoney:** LMAO calm down man.

 **tophops:** have you guys check the television lately? murder cases are lots and lots. we can’t know for sure if there’s a spesific person with spesific reason behind Oikawa-san’s death, OK? what if he was only killed by random serial killer just for the sake of killing itself????

 **runningonsolar:** well, that makes it even worse. smh. i would feel really bad if Oikawa was killed by simply blood-thirsty killer without any significant and solid reason. oh god.

 **violetrays:** what about Suga??? he was the last one that saw Oikawa that night, right??? and Daichi was the one that found him dead. if you think about it, everyone….

 **88lookslikeBB:** COULD BE! Daichi is so chained to Suga. he could do anything for him.

 **sakuralites:** oh my god, are you people insane? Suga is an angel!

 **gnashinglips:** you mean, Suga *looks like* an angel????

 **akaashikeiji:** i had been patient enough reading every heartless, disrespectful, and entirely toxic messages on this board, but i can’t stand it anymore. maybe for you Oikawa-san’s murder is an exciting and thrilling event in your boring, mundane, and uneventful lives. but to us, this is a tragedy that makes us almost unable to go on. it’s paining me to lose a lovable and admirable senior and friend, and it’s paining me to see everyone in my closest circle being so sad bordering into depression. Matsukawa-san is even still at his parents’ home because he can’t bear to come into the apartment that he shared with Oikawa-san. explaining our sadness is almost impossible, and all of you could say those things that you said on this message board like Oikawa-san’s death was a mere story to tell and speculate about with grinning and smirking faces? and to be able to say Suga-san and Daichi-san are responsible for Oikawa-san’s murder is not even what human do anymore. if you look at Suga-san, you would see nothing but heartbreak and regret. and Daichi-san is trying to be super strong for both of them. i don’t fucking see the reason in this shit board’s making. OP, if you’re a human with real and living heart that can still feel for other people’s agony, please delete this thread.

* * *

**oikawa:** iwa-chan  
**oikawa:** i finally bought the instant cheese pudding!!!  
**oikawa:** im so happy!!  
**iwaizumi:** is it any good?  
**oikawa:** hold on  
**oikawa:** im cooking it!!!!  
**oikawa:** omg smells good  
**iwaizumi:** send the smell  
**oikawa:** how could i???  
**oikawa:** you should come over  
**oikawa:** if you wanna smell this goodie!!  
**oikawa:** we can eat together (;  
**iwaizumi:** tempting  
**oikawa:** …so?  
**iwaizumi:** but im at Odakyu with my computer nerd bestie  
**oikawa:** HANAMAKI!!!!  
**oikawa:** how many times have you reject me for makki?  
**iwaizumi:** this makes it nineteen haha  
**oikawa:** you are so mean :(  
**iwaizumi:** why do you keep chatting me?  
**oikawa:** cool tsundere guys are my type  
**iwaizumi:** so i am cool now  
**iwaizumi:** i thought i was hot?  
**oikawa:** mmmmm….  
**oikawa:** when will you ask me out again, iwa-chan?  
**iwaizumi:** go out with me, oikawa  
**oikawa:** nope, because you’re two-timing me with makki!  
**iwaizumi:** you know me too well  
**oikawa:** god, i liiiike you so much!  
**iwaizumi:** im afraid the feeling is mutual  
**oikawa:** awwwwwwwwww!!!  
**oikawa:** see, you can be honest if you want!  
**iwaizumi:** i honestly like you  
**oikawa:** iwa-chan!!!!!!! <3333333333

* * *

His blanket has fallen to the floor for he thrashed a lot in his sleep. But Iwaizumi can’t be bothered to pick it up and re-drape it over his body. Blinking up at the watch on the wall, he finds that it’s already afternoon – too late to get brunch and the right time to have lunch – meaning it’s been three days straight since his schedule started to legitimately messed up.

Under normal circumstance, waking up at nine is already too late for him, but these days he can’t seem to make his eyes open and get his body start up before at least two in the afternoon.

Depression. Guilt. Shock. Sorrow. Loss. Those are enough list to explain a guy’s unwillingness to take life seriously. It’s truly a wonder he hasn’t start to hang out in the CVS and pop every lethal medicines he can get his hands on just to make this huge black hole in his heart disappear. Even if it’s only for a minute, it will be alright for him. It’s all he can ask for.

The door to his apartment is suddenly being thrown open in such harsh manner that the handler crashed loudly against the wall. Hanamaki then enters without a care as if the occupant was nowhere in sight, a spare key to his apartment dangling from his finger, he opens the blinds that’s shielding Iwaizumi from the bright sun outside – quite sadistically if you ask him.

“GET UP!” Hanamaki shrieks, throwing the spare key at him. He’s nearing, taking a fistful of Iwaizumi’s pajama in his hands, and jerks him up. “You look like shit.” He reports coldly.

“I hope so.” Iwaizumi looks away, not even trying to pry off Hanamaki’s hands. “What do you want? If you came here just to criticize me, you can leave from the same way you entered.”

To make some point, Iwaizumi points at the apartment door.

“I’m not here to criticize you.” He lets go of the pajama on his own. “Well, fine! Okay, I came here because I wanted to criticize you and put you back in your goddamn trashbin. But because you look like drowning in self-hatred already, I decided to switch plan and be good. So, we are going out. Right now. Get in the shower, put on some clothes, and off we go.”

“I don’t want to go out.”

“Wow, you thought I was asking for your agreement!”

“Hanamaki…” Iwaizumi starts.

“Stop there, that’s enough bullshit already. Do you know tonight is Halloween and the kindergarten down the street is celebrating it, and there’ll be a bunch of cute little wizards and bunnies and some Disney princesses, and my small pretty niece will be costuming as Mulan and I can’t wait to see her? No. You don’t know, because you’re too busy being sad.”

Refusing to give any sort of verbal answer that might endanger their friendship, Iwaizumi directs Hanamaki a dirty look to convey the boiling disappointment that he's received from his friend's failure to see that everything is flat-out irrelevant compared to Oikawa and his blazing feelings for him. And how he isn't even here to accept it anymore.

Shittiest thing about life, as Iwaizumi figured it out, is irony. Just when he had man-up and almost asked Oikawa to be his boyfriend, he was suddenly gone slipping out his fingers and is never going to come back because Death itself had robbed him. Definitely cruel when you take a time to think about it. But this friend of his surely doesn't think about it.

"My bones are aching." Iwaizumi flops back on the bed, letting out a long sigh. And then Hanamaki cracks something under his breath about how it's a given, since Iwaizumi hasn't even come out for days and diligently sleeping like a dying old cat.

Hanamaki sits on the swiveling chair in front of Iwaizumi's computer table. Clicking clacking on the unplugged and unresponsive keyboard. He shakes his head, eyes are staring with a degree of melancholy that makes Iwaizumi realize that he didn't mean to be insensitive. He goes, "I get it, Iwaizumi. You're in pain, I understand. I didn't befriend you for an awfully long time only to not recognize it when you're adapting zombie personality. But think clearly! We'll be jumping to endless exam preparations in a week, man. Your dad will take back his gay permission if you flunk all of your classes."

"If you haven't noticed, Hanamaki Takahiro-kun, I don't need his gay permission anymore." Iwaizumi replies. "Potential gay partner was killed last week. And my classes can fuck their own asses, see if I give a shit."

Silence creeping out from there is enough to deafen both of them, so Hanamaki gets up from the chair and stalks away to the direction of the only exit from the suffocatingly small apartment. Iwaizumi can't decide if he's relieved or very sad that the only one who cares enough to break down his walls is about to go again.

Either way, he can only stare at the window that's showing off the brightness of the world, as if a way to mock him and silently tell him that he can wallow in self-pity forever, but everyone's going to keep moving and everything will still be in order even without him going out and meddling with it. Well, that sure pisses him off in a way that he can't explain.

"I'll come back to send you dinner." Hanamaki says quietly, and without any further coaxing, slips out from the door.

Mentally count to ten now. Breathe slowly, think about it thoroughly, weigh down the limited choices that he's got in his hands carefully. No one wants to be truly alone in this world, most times when someone says _"leave me alone"_ what they really mean with that is: _"stay here with me, but don't you talk and don't you do anything because I'm really not in the mood to deal with even the simplest thing, but it's nice to know that someone is here with me."_ But a feeling like that is too complicated to be explained, and too, it wouldn't be fair for the other person. So, we keep it simple and act brave by asking to be left alone.

His movement is so abrupt that the joints in him protest by giving dull pain, but he gets out from his bed and runs out to catch Hanamaki. Fortunately, the guy is still waiting for elevator to go down. They look at each other for a moment; him with an uneasy eyes, and Hanamaki with smugness that's hidden by cryptic, moderately indefinable expression.

"Let's go to the Arcade." He says.

"Cool." The other comments.

With that, Iwaizumi enters the apartment again to clean his disgustingly sticky person, meanwhile Hanamaki trails after him, not saying anything — but both of them know that the bastard has owned this round. Well, Iwaizumi doesn't mind though, he's just lost someone that he could romantically love for the first time in the nineteen years of his life. What can it hurt to lose on this dorky little game?

* * *

Most of stories, they start by the question of what and why and when and where and who and how. Iwaizumi will go with "how?" and elaborate by being more specific: "how did his first encounter with Oikawa was like?" This, in a very low tone, is his favorite story to remember.

It began from a stupid cover for their University magazine, and it was really stupid — not just how Iwaizumi branded it, but it was honestly so. Oikawa was quite the hottest thing in their Uni, only could be compared to the sun itself. And apparently if you gave the opportunity to some girls of the magazine team to make the so-called hottie as their cover boy, they would abuse the chance to realize their kink. Healthy. It was all in fun.

So, there he was, Oikawa Tooru being told to stand like a male Armani model while making the most charming face that he could muster, and as accessory to his plain windbreaker and jeans, girls hands were touching his shoulders and neck and arms and wrists. Yeah, only their hands. It was psychotic that way. The leader of the magazine team said that they were just trying to capture how loved Oikawa was, but until this very second, Iwaizumi still thinks they were pretty psychotic for doing that. Imagine if Oikawa was a girl and the magazine team were boys? That would probably have led to a report of sexual harassment filed to the police.

What Oikawa thought at that time must be something like, _"oh, I can handle this, they're not touching me in the intimate area"_ Right. But that didn't stay for too long, because one of them suddenly had an idea that they just had to have a hand touching Oikawa's hip. In that case, even Oikawa had to wave a time-out and said that that was a little overboard.

After discussing about it, they came to the agreement that the hand-on-the-hip was still on, but instead of a girl's hand, they could borrow a boy's hand and Photoshop it later. Iwaizumi came into the view there. He was only walking nearby and was minding his own business, but one of the magazine girls that was his classmate called him and asked him to help them with the photoshoot for the cover. Needless to say that Iwaizumi thought it was all plenty freakish, but he was only asked to touch Oikawa's hip, and he was at least talented enough to do it.

You see, Iwaizumi would have been happy enough to forever be known as the Hip-Hand-san by Oikawa. He wasn't aiming for the super popular cute boy to recognize him. But he did, oh he so very did, and his recognition was even being witnessed by their classmates and lecturer. Last year, Iwaizumi was in the same public communication class with Oikawa. At the beginning of his presentation, Oikawa made an opening stand-up comedy to gather everyone's attention. And one of his lines went like this: "If you read the issue of our beloved University magazine with me on the cover, you must have seen a hand groping my hip. That was Iwaizumi Hajime's hand. Couldn't have done it without him."

Before the class even ended, they had swapped three social network accounts.

It's nearly midnight. Iwaizumi has just gotten back home from the Arcade and accompanying Hanamaki to fawn over his little Mulan niece and hitting up a bar. After burying himself in the ocean of comforter, pillow, and heartbreak for days, all those happy and disgustingly useless activities are too much for him. Like when you accidentally touch something electric with your wet hand. His heart is still thumping hard, and his entire limbs' weakness akin to the mush.

Deciding that it's too troublesome to get on the bed, Iwaizumi plops down on a small loveseat Mom had bought him as living alone gift. He's still wearing full clothes, stench of smokes and alcohol are the keepsake for his nightly adventure with Hanamaki. Sleeping like this is hardly comfortable, but he figures it can do for now. Maybe if he wakes up at three or four, he will strip off and sleep on the bed.

He closes his eyes then, plunging into the world of deep sleep without dream — just the way he likes it. Because these last couple of days his dreams are never pleasant.

But around one in the morning, Iwaizumi wakes up, for something about this apartment feels strangely different that night. Something. What is it, though, he's not sure. The difference can't be seen with bare eyes, only to be felt and believed. His eyes are sweeping the place, trying to find what makes it suddenly eerie with the help of moonlight coming in from window whose blinds hasn't closed off since Hanamaki jerked it open.

 _'That's stupid!'_ Iwaizumi thinks to himself, angrily and anxiously. Being a detective was once his dream and aspiration until he realized how truly problematic and just plain rotten the organized law departments are, so, of course Iwaizumi is the man of logic — and he hates that a part in him is trembling like a toddler looking at a creepy clown, and he hates thinking that someone or something is making his apartment feels eerily uncomfortable that he thinks of supernatural beings. Fucking stupid.

Not wanting to cower in the loveseat for prolonged amount of time, Iwaizumi gets up to flick on the lights.

That's when it happens.

A heavy force is tackling him from behind that he falls on the floor with a loud thud, stomach and chest and chin hurting. And he thinks, _'Fuck, it's true that Oikawa was killed by random serial killer. And now the killer is after me!'_ then: _'I'm going to die! I'm going to die!'_

But he can't die, can he? He hasn't seen the face of Oikawa's killer. He needs to at least crane his neck so he can see who is it ambushing him in his own apartment in the middle of the night. He needs to see.

Pouring his effort into it, he turns his head just slightly.

Brown mop of hair.

And, "Geez, Iwa-chan, you don't smell good!"

Iwaizumi screams.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....you know, whatever going to happen in future chapters, I AM SORRY. Take it with a grain of salt.

Staring at Oikawa sitting before him on the loveseat, arms crossed and face giving such a conceited expression, it makes Iwaizumi want to make a casual research based on this very uncanny experience.

Quiz time.

What would you do if your dead boyfriend-but-not-quite-boyfriend appears in your apartment at an ungodly hour and announcing himself as a ghost?

A. Make a bored face, because he's a ghost, alright. Jeez. You've seen enough horror movies to prepare for the moment. And though you're happy to see him again, this all feels like a stupid plot device to you.  
B. Flee. What else? No brainer.  
C. Cry, because you've missed him like crazy for these past days, and now that he's come back, you are so overjoyed to remember the important things, like, um, he's supposed to be in his grave.  
D. Scream in fear, then get a hold of yourself and pull him into a bear hug and then throw him on the loveseat in your small apartment and demand explanation.

The Sensibles would choose "D"

"What are you?" Iwaizumi asks, but not at all needing the answer. He's saying it just to make sure he hasn't gone mental.

The proud look on Oikawa's face shifts into irritation for he thinks Iwaizumi wasn't listening to him. He rolls his set of big and deep cinnamon eyes, enunciates, "I told you: I'm a ghost, Iwa-chan. You didn't pay me enough attention! I'm so offended."

As a matter of fact, Iwaizumi deadpans, "You're pretty heavy for a ghost."

"Ewww!" The self-proclaimed _'Ghost'_ leans down to flick him on the forehead. "You may not call a ghost 'heavy', Iwa-chan! Where's your manner? Never ever body-shame dead people."

Being heavy isn't even the ghost's primary concern, really. There's too much unghostly traits the Ghost Oikawa doesn't own in him — quite so, that it makes Iwaizumi think that maybe last week had been nothing but a bad joke and Oikawa wasn't really killed and he was biding his time to hook Iwaizumi like this.

Ghost or no, this creature in front of him is his Oikawa Tooru: talky as a parrot, an overreacting little bastard, and a damn queen who complains about lots of small things in life. Even in death. Then, Iwaizumi reaches out to take Oikawa's hand in his, clenching and unclenching his palm around to feel it up.

Not a dead person's hand, for it's not icy cold nor stiff. But not a living person's hand either, for if you trail down with your thumb towards his wrist and try to search for any throbbing pulse, you won't find it. He looks up to find Oikawa smiling a little, eyes slightly narrowed in a gentle way.

"I came here to ask for your help." Oikawa says then, wrapping Iwaizumi's other hand with his own free one. "I need to know who had killed me in the next thirty days."

"Why?" Iwaizumi questions, because when one is murdered, usually the ones who are scrambling all over the place trying to find the killer are the living people. The killed is supposed to be dead and live their own Afterlife, so they can't give the answer, though they usually knows what to give. But taking what he uttered, Oikawa seems to be just as clueless as the rest of them.

Exhaling loudly, Oikawa begins, "Do you believe in Second Chance, Iwa-chan? You see, like, when you die before your fated time, you would be given another chance to go back and live again? I can't go on unless you believe this condition."

Truth to be told, Iwaizumi deems the situation as exceptionally hard to believe. But Oikawa is sitting right there, practically a proof that unless he was crazy, there's such thing as the Second Chance for the Deads. He nods his head as an answer, thinking that he doesn't really have another choice to make Oikawa spill what's happening now.

"Good," the brunette nods. "That's very good. I knew I wouldn't have any problem choosing you as my mediator. Okay, then, open your ears largely and make sure those guys catch everything I'm going to say," he clears his throat pretentiously, then he goes, "First thing to know is, I wasn't meant to die. Not that I was too divine to die or whatever, but it wasn't the time for me to die. Not yet. I know it might be hard to take in, but my death, it was a mistake. One in a million. So, They asked me to make a deal with Them. I still have a chance to live if I take on this deal.

"The deal, however, requiring me to go back and find who had killed me. Because apparently, it's super important for me to figure this out. So that when I return, I won't make the same mistake and die again, because what's the point, right? I could have turned down the deal and forget everything down here, you know. I mean, my memories were taken away and removed from me. I didn't know anything except for who I was, I had forgotten my mom and my dad and my sister and my nephew my bestfriends and my dreams and you. It was literally a start of Something New. But still, when I was told that I could go back and live again, I thought, yes, I would gamble and take the chance. Keep in mind that I had completely no idea what kind of life I was leading before death, but I just had this distant longing to come back. Like, I really had to do this. That's why I agreed. And once I agreed, They revived my memories, and I was happy I had agreed to be sent back. I had such a good life, I thought. It wasn't exactly perfect, but it was good.

"Before you get all fired-up for no reason, Iwa-chan, I have to tell you something: I've got no memories of whatever happened five days before I was killed. I don't know if I had angered someone and made them hate me enough to kill me, and even if I had seen my killer's face and known their identity, I can't tell you because I just don't have the knowledge. Pretty harsh, right? But luckily, They let me to pick someone to assist me in my search..." his voice trails off. "Actually, no, that's wrong. You're not assisting me. You are the one that have to find my killer for me. You are my mediator and my boat and my only link to this world of the Livings. The investigation will go nowhere for the next thirty days because this is your time, and your time alone to help me. No one's going to find my murderer before you as long as my Second Chance time is not yet over. At the end, once you found the killer, you should be able to convince me. And that way, when I'm convinced, both of us will be sent back to the time before I was killed. Of course, I will not remember what you have told me regarding my death, because in that timeline, I haven't died yet, right? But not you. You will still remember it, Iwa-chan."

Right at the moment, it would be so fitting if someone holds up a glowing sign that read: "WELCOME TO THE LAND OF TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" For unlike Oikawa's pulses, Iwaizumi's head is throbbing from listening to all of that worse than Rocket Science explanation.

So, basically, for a month, Iwaizumi will be some sort of Avatar Aang with hair; The Bridge Between The World of Spirits and Humans. Of course. Happens all the time. Don't freak out and don't be weird, Iwaizumi. It's not heavy responsibility at all to uncover Oikawa's death in thirty days, and if you fail, Oikawa would be dead again, and Third Chance probably might be too over-the-top. To write it in the simplest formula, it would be something like: Iwaizumi Hajime + Too stupid to finish the case = Goodbye, Oikawa.

Then, something catches on to Iwaizumi. He eyes Oikawa with a firm look. "You said I should convince you, right? If I could convince you, we can go back and prevent your death. What if I lie and convince you that so-and-so had killed you instead?"

"I wouldn't know if you lied. We'll still travel time and go back, most likely. But if you don't know who had killed me, how are you going to protect me? What if the information from the medias are incorrect? Also, if you lie to me about knowing my killer when you don't, maybe you would be able to save me on that night. But what about the other chances? What if the killer tries to kill me again? Are you sure you are going to risk it?"

Risking it, he will not. This is what he had been secretly wishing for: to be able to snatch back Oikawa off of the Death's hand. And now he's getting this chance. Save him and get him back to life. He's scared, but he wants to do this. No, he needs to do this.

"Why did you even choose me as your mediator, Oikawa? You should have chosen some famous and experienced investigator." Iwaizumi looks down.

"Well, for starter, you used to help your dad with small cases, right? And whenever you said to me that being a detective was once your dream, you had this determined glint in your eyes," Oikawa chuckles, but then it's replaced with a soft, serene smile. "Also, I'm a romantic, Iwa-chan. I don't think there's something more beautiful and heartwarming than the thought of the man that I wanted so bad to make as mine and vice versa, is trying his best to save me. What, are you saying there's someone else in this world that wants to bring me back more than you?"

"Plenty. Your family and friends, though."

"Yeah, they maybe do. But don't you wish to be the only person to be able to save me?"

Iwaizumi does, as selfish and arrogant as that is. He can only trust himself for this task.

* * *

Everyone's worked under pressure of deadline at some point of their life before, but still, rarely those are ever using someone's life as the oil that keeps your machine going. And Iwaizumi's been on the Internet to start gathering public information since Oikawa had finished explaining what there's to know about his peculiar state.

So, that means... five hours? No fucking wonder why his eyes are burning like it's in the midst of Sahara.

Fortunately though, Oikawa is understandingly silent and just sitting on the floor with his back rested against the computer chair that Iwaizumi's occupying, probably knowing that his presence alone is making the other man anxious, and too, not to mention, Oikawa is the most useless person in his own murder case for he can't remember what happened, at all.

Let Iwaizumi set the picture, then.

What happened, based on all the different media outlets, is this: Oikawa Tooru was found dead with a knife stabbing him from behind. It was on the most excellent spot to kill someone, right on his heart, and the boy was dead immediately before anyone found out. His dead body was found at Saturday, 8 A.M and it seems like he only had died for at least three hours.

The last person to see him alive from what the security footage showed was Sugawara Koushi, a friend and a teammate, but before 7 P.M Sugawara had came out from the apartment, waving his goodbye to Oikawa inside.

Meanwhile sometime at 8 A.M, Sawamura Daichi, Oikawa's friend and teammate and Sugawara's boyfriend, visited Oikawa because every Saturday morning they did intense practice of serve-receive. But for there's no response to his repeated knocking and calls, Sawamura tried to peek inside from the keyhole. Granted, what he saw from the keyhole was Oikawa sitting in front of his small coffee table, face down, and a big knife was stuck to his back. Seeing this, Sawamura, without thinking further, crashed down the door and entered only to see that his friend was dead.

Oikawa's roommate, Matsukawa Issei, wasn't in Tokyo for he went away to come back to his parents when the killing took place. Before he was killed, three hours earlier, Oikawa had made a phone call to Matsukawa for two minutes and twenty two seconds. Until now, Matsukawa still hasn't leave his parents' family house, and when he was questioned about the content of the call, he stated that it was just a normal call, like how Oikawa used to always wake him up when he had a particularly horrible nightmare.

Furthermore, there was a damage on the window, as if saying that the killer entered and escaped from there. But the knife that was used to kill Oikawa, as it seemed, belonged to the victim himself. Sugawara had confirmed this by saying that Oikawa had used the knife to slice him a cheesecake when they were hanging out watching television that night. And indeed, mixed with his blood after further investigation, was cheese cream.

Iwaizumi looks down at Oikawa sleepily blinking at the wall. He pokes his cheek with a finger, and cracks, "So, they killed you with a knife to slice cheesecake. Great."

"I've always known that people constantly mistaking me for a cake," Oikawa comments blandly. "I'm just that delicious."

Against himself, a low chuckle escapes him before he could swallow it back. He shakes his head and says sorry, but Oikawa only laughs and says that he doesn't mind. To erase his guilty feeling, Iwaizumi gets down and sit next to Oikawa, a paper and a pencil in his hand.

What they need at this moment is a plan that they have to solemnly follow. Since Iwaizumi has gotten enough information to make sure that he wouldn't get lost in this case, it's the time to be the Big Guy and step out and do his own investigation. Starting from the names that he knows.

Using the pencil, Iwaizumi lists down all the names for his primary investigation: _1.Sugawara Koushi, 2.Sawamura Daichi, 3. Matsukawa Issei, 4.Kuroo Tetsurou, and 5.Bokuto Koutarou_

Kuroo and Bokuto's names didn't appear on any articles that Iwaizumi had read, but those boys were as close to Oikawa as the other three. So, it's only natural that they are to be questioned as well. Because they might know a thing or two to lead Iwaizumi to the root of this shit.

"Those are the names of possible suspect?" Oikawa knits his eyebrows.

"Of course no!" Iwaizumi looks at him with bewildered eyes. "These are just the names of people that I will question tomorrow. I mean, I can start questioning now, but my body is in danger of getting seriously sick if I push myself some more, and I haven't prepare questions to be asked," Oikawa gives a beaming smile at this, nodding his head in agreement. "Also, I can't make your bestfriends as possible suspect before thoroughly examining it, don't you think?"

"I should think so." Oikawa picks up a strand of his hair. "But, I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

Pair of soft brown eyes suddenly getting bold and dark as an unspoken reply to his question. "I've lost my memories, Iwa-chan. But that's all. I still can feel, and this is how I feel. I'm not stating that one of my bestfriends might had killed me, but I sense that whoever the killer was, it was without a doubt someone that I knew closely."

 _'It could have been anyone, literally'_ Iwaizumi suddenly recalls one of the input on the message board which topic was about Oikawa's killer. It's true, though. It could be whoever, they don't know everything. And neither is Oikawa. Iwaizumi feels really bad for him.

* * *

Maybe, Oikawa isn't completely useless to his own case. Though he knows absolutely nothing about the most important puzzle pieces, he knows the small information that can assist Iwaizumi in a way that only a side-kick able to do.

Without Oikawa, Iwaizumi would have had hard time trying to locate the people that he needs to question. But since Oikawa is here, he can easily point out things like, _"oh, at the time like this, suga-chan would be here"_ and _"tetsu-chan's apartment is around here!"_ Which is really helpful, because Iwaizumi hardly knows them. Different departments and no same club and all that. The only way for them to know him was through Oikawa.

First person that Iwaizumi looked for was Sugawara. True to Oikawa's words, the gray-haired man was part-timing in an okonomiyaki vendor owned by his older cousin. For some reason even beyond him, Sugawara didn't look surprised to see him. Maybe he couldn't be surprised anymore after what had happened.

"I know what you want, Iwaizumi," Sugawara said, tapping his fingers on the serving table. "But we've made it a mutual agreement that we're going to stick during this though time. If you want to question us, then question _us_. Don't do it separately. Is that alright?"

Understandable, Iwaizumi thinks. As the last person to see the killed friend being alive, Sugawara is the most cornered. And understanding this, the other boys think it's crucial for them to ease Sugawara's burden by sticking up for him.

Sugawara told him that he could come at 6 P.M to Kuroo's apartment for everyone will be there. Minus Matsukawa, though.

Before he knocks the door, Iwaizumi crumples the paper containing his questions, and throws it to a nearby trash bin. Oikawa looks at him questioningly, but Iwaizumi only shrugs nonchalantly. He would look stupid if he used the note while questioning Oikawa's bestfriends. Maybe they can bring the atmosphere of easiness and friendliness, make it seem like friends chatting, instead of him questioning them with them thinking that he sees one of them as the killer, or they're killers covering for each other. 

Iwaizumi knocks.

Sugawara opens the door for him. He's wearing a light blue long sleeve shirt and trousers and a smile. Next to him, Oikawa breathes out, "Suga-chan..." that, certainly, only can be heard by Iwaizumi himself. It happened as well when Iwaizumi met Sugawara in the afternoon; Oikawa was almost teary and looked so guilty after he took notice of how beaten Sugawara these days.

But now, Sugawara is smiling, calmed down because inside his other friends are with him and he's not alone. It's a good look on Sugawara, smiling.

For someone who hasn't attend his classes for a full week, Kuroo looks pretty decent and carefree. He's playing XBox on the couch, and only stops playing when Sugawara announces Iwaizumi's arrival. From the other room, Bokuto comes in, bringing two cans of Coke. He gives one of the cold beverage to Iwaizumi, then sits down on the single couch next to Kuroo. Daichi, though, is nowhere in sight.

"He's getting us some sushi." Sugawara answers Iwaizumi's out loud wondering, tucking gray hair behind his shapely ear.

Wait, what? Did Iwaizumi just think Sugawara has shapely ear? What kind of observation was that? He's not here to do that. But, well... Sugawara's ears look nice.

As if sensing this particular thought, Oikawa leans his face close to Iwaizumi's. Iwaizumi can't give him any response whatsoever without looking like a nutcase, though. He shakes his head to him as subtly as he can manage, then sits on a chair in front of Kuroo. The latter sends him a microscopic sideway smile.

"Heard you're doing some Hawkshaw activity for our beloved Late Oikawa?" Kuroo starts. "Don't you think you're being a daredevil, walking into the zone of all possible killers? I hope you've told someone that you came here, Iwaizumi. In case you would be gone the next days?"

Drinking the Coke that Bokuto gave him, Iwaizumi keeps his eyes on him. "I'm not here because I suspect any of you. This much you have to understand. We are the people that doesn't want Oikawa to die the most. All of you were his bestfriends, and I was very nearly his boyfriend. I think it would be better if we mix up our brains and knowledge so we can finish this case."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay, you're right. I'm sorry, I can't seem to not fuck up anything lately." He says sullenly, messing up his already messy hair with agitated hand. "Let's wait for Daichi to arrive. We can talk while we eat. I wouldn't be able to think straight otherwise. You don't mind waiting, eh?"

Iwaizumi had waited since afternoon, he can absolutely wait for someone buying some sushi. Sugawara goes to turn on the television, and Bokuto creeps up next to Iwaizumi. Though someone on the message board said that this guy becomes quiet lately, Bokuto is still the most cheerful and talkative among all of them. While Bokuto reminds him about all sort of embarrassingly cheesy stories of Iwaizumi and Oikawa that Oikawa had told his friends when he was still alive to do so, the Ghost whispers to his ear, saying that Bokuto is always like that. He can be very pumped-up at this moment, but don't be shocked if the next moment, when they begin to talk about all the heavy stuffs, he will grow rigid and silent.

Their collective attentions — Oikawa included — is poured on a commercial for McDonald's (another very nearly inedibly unhealthy, yet looks damn gorgeous) new menu when Daichi comes back, big fancy lacquered box in his hold. Though he came here on his own accord, and was so damn sure to himself, his stomach does a funny flip now that Daichi is here and The Conversation is bound to happen.

Kuroo helps Sugawara get the wasabi and soy sauce and the eating utensils. After that, they sit around the table, unmoving, until Bokuto takes his own chopsticks and lifts the salmon sushi from its box. "Let's eat, everyone!" He says cheerfully, throws the dish into his mouth, and chews. This, then, is followed by Daichi, then Kuroo, then Iwaizumi, and Sugawara.

Sneaking a glance at Oikawa sitting before him, Iwaizumi realizes that he also wants to eat, too. Unfortunately, there's nothing Iwaizumi can do about that now.

"I want kani rolls," Oikawa mutters sadly. "Iwa-chan, buy me some later, OK?"

To that, Iwaizumi nods his head once. It's not everyday he gets to buy some sushi for a Ghost, after all. Whether Oikawa can eat them or not is a different point entirely.

"Don't they taste good, Iwaizumi?" Daichi goes, dipping his sushi into a bowl of soy sauce. "Oikawa loved the kani rolls."

 _'Figured'_ Iwaizumi thinks, meanwhile Oikawa sighs fondly at the sentiment, even if there's no way for Daichi to know that he's among them.

Chewing, Sugawara says, "We've pitched off your time enough, Iwaizumi. You're here because you want to know what we know about Oikawa's death, not to join unproductive and angsty dudes like us. For that, I'm sorry," Iwaizumi shakes his head, countering that he enjoys their companionship a lot so far. Sugawara directs him a small gentle smile. "I'm grateful to hear it. Some people might think we are some reserved and exclusive group, but it's wrong. We just don't get out of our ways to add people into our squad. But if you want to come here, sometime in the future, just come, OK? We've heard about how super mega ultra awesome you are from Oikawa."

"You were what that stupidhead wanted to talk about all the time. Like, Iwaizumi-blah, Iwaizumi-bleh." Kuroo says as if he was complaining, but he looks relatively amused.

"Sorry," Iwaizumi replies.

"No, don't be." Kuroo points at him. "It was about time for the baby to jump from his nest. Did you know that he was perfectly celibate? Oikawa might looked like he hung out in Kabukicho every weekend, but he was a real Virgin Mary."

That made Iwaizumi nearly choke. "Are you jesting?" He begs for a repeat, very much bemused.

As expected, Oikawa makes a screeching noise. "I CAN'T BELIEVE HE SAID THAT! He couldn't possibly say that!"

With a laugh, Sugawara confirms, "No, it wasn't a jest. It's true. Oikawa died a virgin. That's why Kuroo here becomes cranky as a result. I mean, aside of the other, more obvious things." He purses his lips. "Enough with the trivialities already, guys, we need to focus. So, Iwaizumi, you want to know if we can give you something that you don't already know, right? Well, we're sorry to say that we don't have such information. I've told the cops everything, and so did Daichi."

"That's fine." Iwaizumi assures. "I just want to hear the story from your own mouth."

"Hmmm... if you say so, alright, then. I'll make sure to include everything, but my memory about that night has been a little blurry lately, I don't even know why. I mean, like, there's a big hand that's trying to make me forget everything, and unless I think about it really hard, it's just hard for me to remember," Sugawara plays with his chopsticks. "I live in the same apartment building as Oikawa and Matsukawa. Ours — mine and Daichi's — is two levels above theirs. Surely, you knew that Matsukawa had left earlier that day to visit his parents' home, and either he was feeling lonely or something, Oikawa texted me to come to his apartment, saying that he bought an iced cheesecake and couldn't finish it alone. I was, like, sure, okay. What else to do, right? Daichi was in his part-time job, and not unlike him, I was alone, too. I agreed to come to his place, and we talked and watched TV and ate cheesecake.

"He didn't say anything curious that night, we were just talking about volleyball and commenting whatever came up on the television. Mundane things like that. When I said I was going back, Oikawa hugged me very snugly. However, he was the physical type, and him hugging or cuddling with us wasn't something out of ordinary. So, I didn't think much about it. I hugged him back and patted his head, because he was such a baby bunny, he liked those treatments. But now that I think about it, maybe he was trying to stop me from leaving him alone. He already got the bad feeling, but he couldn't explain to me, so he didn't say anything." Sugawara sucks on the tip of his chopsticks absentmindedly. "And maybe, when he called Matsukawa late at night before he was killed, he was trying to search for someone to keep him company. I'm sure he said something like: _'Mattsun, I can't sleep, something's bothering me...'_ or even: _'Mattsun, get on any car that you can find and come back here!'_ Of course, Matsukawa was not completely lying when he said that it was just an ordinary call about Oikawa having a nightmare. But, you see, I don't think Oikawa slept at all. He wouldn't have. Well, it's just a belief that we've got. But we didn't say it to the cops because we believe Matsukawa, and if he wanted to hide the real content of the call, then it was fully his right. What mattered was: he had at least let us know that the call was about Oikawa feeling restless."

Daichi picks up from there. "And in the morning, Oikawa didn't answer my texts when I was going to pick him up. I thought, well, he would be there if I just went down to his apartment. So, there I was, knocking his door for some time. No answer. So, I called his phone. Still no answer. Then, I peeked from the keyhole because we do that all the time. Only when I looked inside, I saw him over there, in unnerving position with a knife on his back, in my line of sight. As if the killer had deliberately put him there, knowing that I would peek from the hole and they wanted his dead body to be found soon."

Kuroo throws his chopsticks then. Even Bokuto apparently has stopped eating since Sugawara began to talk. "Daichi is fucking strong. Had it been me, I would have lost my appetite at all." Bokuto mumbles, pulling up knees to his chest.

Ditto. Iwaizumi can only imagine.

"My mental strength aside, the window is still bothering me." Daichi stabs a tamago sushi with a chopstick, examining it. "I mean, alright, criminals can use it as their door because only with a swift jump from Oikawa's balcony, they can get to his neighbor's balcony. And his neighbor's balcony has a fire escape. Not to mention, if the killer really wanted to do some action, they could have jumped from the balcony without getting any serious injury, since the apartment is only on the second floor. But, if we keep in mind how restless Oikawa was that time, do you honestly think he wouldn't hear anyone wrenching his window at, like, four in the morning?"

Bokuto holds up his hands, informing them, "My head hurts. We've talked about this over and over and over again. Unless someone can answer The Question with other answer that's not a _'no way, he must have heard it! But then, why did he not attack the killer before he could enter?'_ let's just finish the sushi and vacate our overworked and exploited brains for a change? How about that?"

"If he didn't attack the killer, that means he knew the killer, right?" Iwaizumi offers.

Kuroo crosses his arms. He finally decides to speak up after keeping quiet to himself. "Oikawa's friends were all weirds like us. But I'm pretty sure he didn't have friends weird enough to break his window at dawn and he thought it was normal."

"We hit the rock bottom. Again." Bokuto claims, reclining on the armrest tiredly.

"No," Iwaizumi frowns at the golden-eyed man. "What do you even mean? It's not a dead end, Bokuto. If you think about it backward: a friend of Oikawa's normally visited him from the front door, they hung out for a while or whatever, and the killing happened, and then the killer escaped from the window and broke it from outside, everything makes total sense. But since Oikawa let them in when he was so scared and it was late at night, he didn't only know who the killer was. He was close with them, too. Or he had even expected them to come."

Shocking him, Bokuto howled in appreciation. He slapped Iwaizumi on the arm repeatedly, and he goes, "Iwaizumi!! Wow! You answered The Question!"

But one look at Sugawara's quizzical smile, and Kuroo's, as well as Daichi's similarly grim looks, it seems like Bokuto was the only one that never heard about such possibility. Maybe the other three boys never spoke out the idea at all, though they had thought about it before.

None of them wants to believe that a close friend, or a family of Oikawa's, had ended his life. Even Iwaizumi feels bad for saying it, because Oikawa tries to look like he didn't hear the offered theory.

Plausible.

"If you think so, Iwaizumi," Kuroo says with a small smile. He throws his arm over Bokuto's shoulder. "What, you're not finishing the sushi, Bro? Not hungry?"

"You guys screwed my appetite," Bokuto rolls his eyes, and picks up the chopsticks again.

* * *

"Hey! Hey, man! Iwaizumi!"

Oikawa holds Iwaizumi's arm to make him stop. "Kuroo's coming," he says. Iwaizumi pauses in his step and turns around to see the black-haired man running after him.

"Yeah?" Iwaizumi blinks when he's standing before him. "Why are you here?"

"The last time I saw Oikawa..." he says, breath slightly ragged from the sprint. "It was Thursday night at a bar. Bokuto and him and I. Daichi and Suga didn't come with us because they were having mushy old-married couple night. We drank a lot that night, but not so much that we were too drunk to see straight. Just, kind of drunk, I guess. I didn't tell you this because Bokuto wanted to keep some things secret from Daichi and Suga until he's ready, like, you know, him and Akaashi being together. By the way, that night we drank a lot and Bokuto called Akaashi to pick him up, and Akaashi showed up not long later, and they left. After that, I got kind of envious to their relationship or some stupid shit drunk behavior like that, so I said to Oikawa I was going to Kenma's home to... uh, well, that wasn't important. Both of us left him at the bar like moronic assholes." He straightens his back. "Well, I left him, actually. Just ditch. Bye, see you tomorrow, Oikawa! But I couldn't see him the next day. It was the last time I saw him, and I was being a ditchy shit."

Iwaizumi processes this, eyes never leaving Kuroo's. "Do you think there was bad thing happened after you left him?"

"No. No, I asked the Bartender who was on-duty when we were there, you see, and he remembered Oikawa and us. But there wasn't unfortunate event including Oikawa. I only say this to you because this has been destroying me lately. I needed to talk to someone about this, but I'm too much of a pussy to tell anyone else. I feel like..." Kuroo pauses, his eyes are fixed on an object next to Iwaizumi, then he shakes his head, and blinks firmly. "But I feel like I had killed him somehow, Iwaizumi. I think he was killed because of me, and I can't get rid of this thought. It's killing me."

"Were you the one that had stabbed him?"

Kuroo's lazy eyes fly open hearing it. "What the fuck? I could never do that!"

"Then you didn't kill him," Iwaizumi gives an assuring smile. Free of judgements. "You feel bad because you abandoned him when he was drunk, but Oikawa was killed, right? Not die in some accident because he was drunk or being assaulted by thugs when he was completely off guards? Forget it, Kuroo. Move on. Think about what you can do to finish this case. Because I have a feeling the police wouldn't give that much help for us."

"Speaking about police," Kuroo leans closer like what he's about to share is the nation's Top Secret. "This will keep you up all night or makes you unable to sleep. I mean, it's been six hours, and I am still shivering. But, well, you deserve to know. I got this information from Sakusa, his Aunt works for the NPA as one of their lab people or something. Bokuto is annoyed by Sakusa, but guy is really nice as long as you're not smelly or invading his personal space. Anyways, he texted me this afternoon that after some investigation, seems like there were no fingerprints in the room that Oikawa was killed in. Only Oikawa's fingerprints."

"Eh..." Iwaizumi manages, confused. Of course there were no other fingerprints, because otherwise they would have found the killer by now. "How about that?"

"There were no fingerprints, Iwaizumi. Not at all. In that goddamn room. Only Oikawa's fingerprints. Not even Suga's fingerprints or Matsukawa's or whoever else's. It was only Oikawa's and Daichi's because he was the one that had found him. But other than that, the room was clean of fingerprints. Even the back of their bookshelves? No fingerprints either." Kuroo explains exasperatedly. "The killer cleaned all of the fingerprints."

"Literally all." Iwaizumi says dazedly.

"Yeah, literally all. That's the phrase!"

"But I just don't understand. What's the point of being that neurotics and wipe clean all fingerprints in the whole room?"

Kuroo only looks at him, as if saying that's what he was trying to say. None of them knows what is the reason. Or if there's even a reason. The longer that Iwaizumi thinks about it the angrier and the more confused he is: an image of the bastard cleaning every inches of the living room after he murdered Oikawa, it makes Iwaizumi want so much to beat up that bastard to death.

He's trying to control his fury all the way home. He even almost makes a 7-11 cashier cry because of his murderous aura when he's purchasing a box of sushi assortments. Oikawa is silent watching him, he looks troubled and sorry.

Once they're back in Iwaizumi's apartment, Oikawa says, "Iwa-chan... I think Kuroo is probably innocent."

Iwaizumi splashes cold water to his face. "You think so?" He replies negligently, still too preoccupied with the information.

"I think so." Oikawa says in wondering tone. "When you were talking to him in the corridor? I swear to God his eyes were on mine, locked for that one second, until he broke away the contact."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To think that I was planning to update this fanfiction once a week... by this point I won't be able to go out before it's finished T.T

But Iwaizumi was a total idiot when he offered the theory of Oikawa's possible killer came in from the front door and escaped from the window. That couldn't have been right, thanks to all of those security cameras that recorded their activities. Had the bastard really appear, he would have been recorded. And Iwaizumi failed to notice this until Daichi reminded over the text. Iwaizumi is too goddamn fucking stupid, it's unbecoming.

100 to Bokuto for saying that they had hit the Dead End. Because Dead End it was, and everything here is about the Dead.

Iwaizumi gets Oikawa to sit down, putting his hands on his shoulders, asking him what would he do if he heard scarce noise at the time when he was feeling terrified about something. Oikawa ponders his answer for a minute, stating exactly like what Sugawara had said, that if he was so bothered about something, he wouldn't be able to sleep and would become hyper aware of everything, thus had he known someone was trying to break into his apartment through the window, he would have called the police then attacked the person with whatever equipment he had.

At his clarification, Iwaizumi smacks his forehead against the armrest of the loveseat. Now, they get back to square one, fucking spectacular. This case becomes more and more nerve-wracking.

Oikawa hugs Iwaizumi's arm, pulling him away from the armrest. "Iwa-chan," says him in consoling manner. "That's okay, Iwa-chan, it's only three days, isn't it?"

"Three days out of thirty days is a lot, Oikawa." Iwaizumi acidly denies his attempt at comforting him. "If I couldn't finish this in time, wouldn't that mean I'm the one responsible for your death?"

"I'm dead already, Iwa-chan. If you can't unravel my murder, I would still thank you for putting all of your effort to save me."

"And then you'll fucking leave again? Not remembering us, meanwhile we can remember you and it will sting like hell?"

The counter makes Oikawa zip his lips shut, looking away in a manner of a father being caught eating his children's cookies for Santa Claus. Shown on his face that he was counting on Iwaizumi for not realizing that particular issue. As if Iwaizumi could, when it's all that he can think about lately.

Sighing, Iwaizumi goes to set up the DVD and rummages through his collection. Hitchcock seems like a good choice to watch, maybe an inspiration will sprout.

"Come here," Iwaizumi says, stretching out an arm so Oikawa can nestle there.

And he does. Oikawa rests his body against Iwaizumi's, they're watching Strangers On The Train — a movie about two strangers making an agreement to perform a cross-murder (that's Iwaizumi's way to call it), the First Man is going to kill someone that the Second Man want to kill and vice versa, so the police can't catch them and figure out the case. Only it's easier said than done. Since the Second Man doesn't agree to it and refuses to kill The First Man's subject.

Maybe some would see Iwaizumi as a mindless and insensitive bastard for playing a movie about murder to a murder victim. But he's not. Oikawa enjoys it as much as him. Oikawa's lips slightly parted and his eyes never leaving the screen of Iwaizumi's television. He looks curious and for the moment, it seems like everything is forgotten. They are just two boys watching old movie in a Monday night.

Sometime later, when the movie is finished, Oikawa goes, "I do think the best thing we all can do is forgive. There are so many things that can be done by forgiving. Don't you think so, Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi nods his head. But he can't say he's fully agree, for he doesn't think he would be able to forgive the bastard that had killed Oikawa. And he doesn't think Oikawa should, either. But maybe there are things bound to change once you experienced your soul leaving your body, and you realize that you couldn't do anything about it, and that the only thing left for you is only to forgive and let go.

Damaged window that silently trying to convince them that the killer had used it as their entrance and escape. But breaking the window when the occupant of the apartment was being alarmed and restless and really cautious was a recklessly impossible thing to do. But had the killer entered from the front door like what Iwaizumi had claimed, then the security camera would have caught them and make them as the sole suspect. So, what? What else is there? There has to be something. One thing or another, or...

...stupidfuckshitdamn.

They're talking about a killer that Oikawa had known very closely, so everything can be the answer. But for this specific question that Bokuto respectably dubbed as The Question, the answer goes like this: Oikawa had let the killer inside his apartment through the fucking window.

As fucking easy as that.

* * *

"So, your eyes look sharper now," Hanamaki says when they're having lunch in a ramen shop on Tuesday. "Told you it would do you good if you stop huddling with dirty pajamas and bedsheets, right?"

Munching the dish, Iwaizumi nods his head. "Yeah, you're right," says him. "I've found back my path now." With that, he sneaks a glance at Oikawa standing behind the serving bar, watching the cook making ramen that people have ordered.

"Good, good." Hanamaki nods.

Iwaizumi braces himself. "By the way, can you find someone's location for me?"

"Whose location?"

"Hold up," Iwaizumi pulls up his phone, opens a bookmarked website, and shows Hanamaki a username from the message board in which a bunch of people sharing their thoughts about Oikawa's killer. "This one. Dude or some chick with handler _borntobewhack_. I need to find where they live and their identity."

Hanamaki reads the comment that the user wrote, and looks up. "Dude..."

"I know it's illegal." Iwaizumi says.

"That's correct. And, too, I want to keep me as a healthy and law-abiding computer genius. Remember, Iwaizumi Hajime?"

"Please, Makki. Did I ever abuse your computer skills in anyway before?" Iwaizumi makes an effort to plead. "I need your assistance in this, man. I wouldn't have asked otherwise. Please do this."

Instead, Hanamaki blinks at him slowly. "What are you trying to do again, Iwaizumi?" asks him with a dark look.

"I'm investigating his death."

"The cops are on it."

"The cops wouldn't figure it out so soon," Iwaizumi blurts out on the spur of the moment. "Not within a month, at least."

"How can you be sure of it?"

As if on cue, Iwaizumi looks down at his bowl that's nearly empty. He was meaning to never tell anyone, but maybe he has to explain to Hanamaki because they have been friends since high school. Not exactly this time, though. But soon, really soon, when the case is almost over, he will bare everything to him. To hell if his bestfriend might think he has gone insane.

"Later, Makki." Iwaizumi says quietly, sipping the soup. "Now is not the time."

For a while, Iwaizumi is almost certain that Hanamaki will refuse him on this, because never using his computer knowledge for illegal activity is something that he sets as an ideology. It's very important for him. Maybe Iwaizumi would have to look for that user in his own way, which would be difficult because he doesn't know where Mikoto Tooru (who is the user's neighbor, most likely) lives. And what makes him really need to find this user in the first place is because he has to ask Mikoto why did Oikawa visit his apartment when he was visibly hangover.

Iwaizumi means, Oikawa used to hate Mikoto. No, no, edit that. Oikawa hates him, still, even after he preached about forgiving one another. This is a puzzle piece that he has to find where it might fit.

"Okay, God, fine, Iwaizumi, I'll do that." Hanamaki puts down a spoon in the bowl, licking his lips. "Because I luuuuurve you."

"Really?" Iwaizumi lights up.

"What, yes, of course. But only if you let me to come with you to the place, okay?"

* * *

Oikawa is not with him. Temporarily, though. He said he was too lazy to go outside and wanted to stay in, playing video games and reducing the content of Iwaizumi's fridge. In a sentence: "What's the point in being a ghost when you still have to go to college and listen to lecture?" Certainly, it makes sense.

His classes, however, fail to do the same. But Iwaizumi can't chuck the blame at his lecturers or the lessons. All he could think about when he was in class was how he couldn't start deducing until Matsukawa comes back and Hanamaki finds the location. Even now that he's walking out from the class, he's still fidgety, has too much nervous energy in him, and he wants to run the field until he gets everything he needs so he can start putting his brain to use.

But anyways, from the direction of cafeteria, Iwaizumi sees Akaashi walking next to Sugawara who's holding a box of something. He contemplates whether to call them or no, then he remembers what Sugawara said; that Iwaizumi should greet him when they happen to pass by in the campus or wherever else, since whoever had eaten together with them in Kuroo's apartment is automatically their friend.

Iwaizumi jogs forward, keeping quiet, but he's walking next to them in the same rhythm. Sugawara looks over, smiling. "Hey, Iwaizumi. Got class?"

"Just done." He gestures vaguely.

"Come with us, then. My Auntie sent me a whole lot of donuts and I need help finishing them. Oh, yes, and the gorgeous one here is Akaashi. Heard of him?"

Fortunately, yes, Iwaizumi had heard about him, though not in the way that Sugawara might think of. He wonders if he has known that Bokuto and Akaashi are lovers. Not that such thing matters. Not in this situation. Of course, the world could use a little more beauty such as newly blooming relationship between two loving individuals, but Iwaizumi honestly needs another time to appreciate it.

Sugawara decides for the three of them to sit under a mango tree at the back of the student center building. He opens the box, revealing beautifully bloaty looking donuts of different colors and toppings that look so good they are practically asking to be devoured in the best way as if the eater had to take in the attitude of some famous television food critics.

Iwaizumi notices that donuts with cheese toppings are nowhere in the box. But, shit. Iwaizumi has to quit thinking like this.

Just at this moment, at least.

Chewing a glazed donut, Akaashi's eyes are staring into Iwaizumi's. "Is that true Iwaizumi-san, that you're trying to find Oikawa-san's killer on your own?"

Thank you, Akaashi Keiji. So much for Iwaizumi Hajime wanting to provisionally discard his detective-y way of thinking.

"True that," answers him, hiding look of uncertainty that's creeping up to his face. "I'm doing my best, but I can't guarantee anything that I might be able to close off the case." ( _but guarantee or no, with faith or without, the entire universe making it difficult for him notwithstanding, Iwaizumi will get his hand on the killer's neck and break it off. That's the drill._ )

"Eh... that's still very great, Iwaizumi-san." Akaashi assures with a nod. "We're doing our so-called investigation as well, but it's half-assed and we're too often getting distracted by blue feelings or just the creeps that what we might find probably isn't what we can handle. So, it's less of an investigation, and more to our attempt at keeping us occupied and busy."

"Matsukawa hasn't come back?" Iwaizumi asks after humming to Akaashi. He's trying to select which to eat between the raspberry donut and the coffee one.

"Nah..." Sugawara answers, resting his body on the tree trunk. Not eating. "But seems like our professors are tolerating it. The other day, Kizuki-sensei called Daichi and asked him about Kuroo's condition, and said that he understood."

"Good for them." Iwaizumi takes a green tea donut instead, leaning away to give a proper look at Sugawara. "Why aren't you eating at all again?"

Caliginous look appears on Sugawara's face like Iwaizumi's question had hit the Achilles' heel, making a tenebrific cape fall upon them and shrouding them with tension that Iwaizumi can't really guess what it is about and where it came from.

"I haven't been able to eat anything like donut or cake or bread or pastry lately," he mumbles, reaching out his fingers and staring at them. "It wasn't much, the cheesecake that we ate. Just, about this big, the same as my hand stretched out like this... but it was so fulfilling, even sometimes I can still taste it at the back of my tongue, and I just get so very upset."

Iwaizumi stares at Sugawara's kind of small, boyish hand with gracious spindly fingers. But his attention isn't drawn to Sugawara's hand, not essentially. He's imagining the cake, a small cake. See, the kind of cake that girls usually buy because it's the perfect size to be eaten alone.

He knits his eyebrows, directing Sugawara a complicated look. The detail doesn't really add up. But the fragment is too goddamn tiny that Iwaizumi is afraid that he will crush the piece with his rough hand. No one couldn't have thought about it, not like this, and maybe Iwaizumi is being a crazy bastard for saying it, but...

"Sugawara, do you thi—"

"No. No, I don't think." Sugawara has smashed his thought before he dares to elaborate, he's calculated what's coming. He looks fierce at the moment, like he can maim or kill with his eyes alone. Of course, Sugawara is good. He's the first person to ever think about it.

But he doesn't humor the thought because it hurts him like hell. To think that it might be true and he wouldn't know how to handle his deep sadness. He loves his friends, his intimate group, and he doesn't want to think of it being torn apart because someone in it had killed Oikawa. It's only a possibility, and there are many loopholes, but if it's true... well, then it's true. Nothing will be the same.

Iwaizumi closes his mouth.

Quietly, Akaashi staring back and forth between Sugawara and him. He's such a gorgeous and a very calm boy. Iwaizumi can totally understand how Bokuto matches with him. However, what attracts Iwaizumi's attention the most is how his heavy-lidded eyes glinting with interest, understanding, and rationality.

When their gazes meet, Iwaizumi knows that Akaashi isn't afraid of the truth.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE IS STILL ONE MORE CHAPTER. HOLD ON. IM UPLOADING IT SOON. PLEASE PUT DOWN THE KNIVES. I'm soooooorrrrryyyy.

Iwaizumi wakes up to the smell of Miso soup and the sound of something making a delicious fizzing, frying noise on the heated-up pan. Fish, from the smell of it.

Once he’s blinked sleepiness out of his eyes, he finds Oikawa looking down at the stove, biting a thumbnail, and he’s got cooking chopsticks between two fingers.

That morning, Oikawa looks very alluring in every layers, like if Iwaizumi were to scoop him in his arms and breathe him in, his hunger would dissipate instantly.

“Aye, good morning,” Oikawa chirps. “Long day awaits you!”

“Yeah.” Iwaizumi agrees, landing both feet on the floor.

Last night memory still leaves him incredibly baffled. Confused. Even jealous and irritated if he wanted to speak the truth. And why wouldn't he? Mikoto Tooru had stated that it was true that Oikawa left his apartment in the afternoon on the day before he was murdered, and actually, the night after Kuroo left him at the bar, Oikawa didn't come back to his apartment. Instead, he stayed over in Mikoto Tooru's and the two — in polite term — slept together.

However, the vexation and incredulity was shared in even amount between him and Oikawa himself. Not only did the latter found Mikoto's announcement of them having intercourse as an impossibly absurd idea, but he, too, called Mikoto as an embarrassingly delusional individual. He was pretty sure Mikoto was lying, and Iwaizumi could only pray that it was so.

"That asshole is just sick," Oikawa said to Iwaizumi after they came back to the apartment. "Well, yes, everyone's sick and sicker and sickest and it's only the matter of how clever you're hiding the sickness. But that asshole? He's one piece of shit, sick being. What is he?!"

Just like yesterday when he went to find Mikoto, Iwaizumi will go with Hanamaki again today. They're going to find Matsukawa, and make him tell them what he knows. Hell and high water welcome, Iwaizumi is determined and stubborn enough to make even a mute-by-choice speak if he put some work into it.

Hanamaki's mom agreed to lend them her car as long as they can get it back to her without any scar. Both of them can drive, and the journey only will take five hours top even with the traffic being a bitch.

Iwaizumi doesn't mind going on a ten-hours length trip, but he feels bad for Hanamaki. This is not his battle, and he doesn't have to indulge himself in this tiring mess. But he insists. Though Iwaizumi hates burdening his bestfriend, a companion is always nice to have.

He's done putting on clothes when Hanamaki enters his apartment abruptly.

Fortunately, Oikawa is no longer cooking and not gives Hanamaki a cardiac arrest with some supernatural show because the only one able to see him holding those chopsticks and pan and all is Iwaizumi.

Looking at cooked breakfast on his coffee table, Hanamaki's eyes go wide. Well, Oikawa can't really cook: but miso soup and salad and frying stuff, that he can do. Iwaizumi, though, knows that he's got absolutely no cooking bone in his person, so he never (ever) bothers with sorry attempt at poisoning himself with Le Inedibles a la Chef Iwaizumi Hajime.

"Before you ask, yes, I cooked," Iwaizumi holds up a hand — both to Hanamaki and Oikawa, booing him about taking credits for someone else's effort. "So, sit down."

Hanamaki does, but not before taking a bowl of rice for himself. They eat breakfast with rarely words exchanged between them, though the fish is a bit overcooked and the soup is too watery. Maybe Hanamaki is too deep drowned in the heartwarming thought that he's eating Iwaizumi's cooking for the first time ever.

"I cracked into Mizoguchi-sensei's database to look up Matsukawa Issei," Hanamaki reports after drinking water. "He's kind of, like, really hot, right?"

"Mizoguchi-sensei?" Iwaizumi deadpans.

"Yeah. He's damn freaking bangin'," Hanamaki gives him another deadpan. "No, you asshole. While your head is full with Oikawa and how he was like your 100% Perfect Boy, I find Matsukawa Issei as incredibly gorgeous. I nearly jerked off to his picture, but I caught myself before."

"Awww! Mattsun's gotten himself a new fan," Oikawa squeals, still laying on Iwaizumi's bed, eyes watching them with interest. "I've told Mattsun billions time that he's cool and plenty folks admire him, but he always thought I was fishing for compliments. Makki is very, very cute! Iwa-chan, tell him that Mattsun's single."

"He's single. Matsukawa is." Iwaizumi extends the message, slightly amused.

"Did I say I am a gay and am interested in pursuing romantic relationship with him?"

"You just said you almost jerked off to him, Makki. Am I not supposed to think so?"

"That doesn't count," Hanamaki shakes his head like he was disappointed. "It was me being sexual, not me being a gay. He's a hot dude, and it deserved appreciation."

"Between you and me, you usually are more gayish, Maude fellow." Iwaizumi states, adding the old-fashioned slang. "Even those people in Hokkaido knows."

"Anyhow, let's get on the road!"

Hanamaki gets out first to start up the engine of the car and lets Iwaizumi to clean his apartment. Only Hanamaki doesn't know that someone else is doing it in his stead, and in the time that he thought Iwaizumi used to do the chore, he talks to Oikawa.

While he's got his own belief of this case's key, Iwaizumi still has to prove that it's right by checking up with Matsukawa. If Matsukawa agreed with his thought, or even giving body gestures like he agreed with him, then this case would be closed.

There's nothing like absolute certainty in this case. And when you think about it, it's actually the main point of investigating the matter of dead people; the one guilty refuses to break the purest honesty because they're protecting themselves, meanwhile the other one already dies and incapable to tell the real scene. Then, there's Oikawa's special and curious condition. The best that he could ask for is someone or two sharing the same conviction as him. Sugawara, though himself doesn't want to admit it, thinks the exact same thing with Iwaizumi. All he needs is just some final information from Matsukawa.

And since he's putting every cards on the table, he asks Oikawa to stay behind. In case he's proven right, he will need some time to man up so he can break the news in the most comforting way to him. Though one might beg to differ and say that there's nothing of sort about this whole shebang.

Iwaizumi slips a strand of Oikawa's brown hair behind his ear. "I'm going, alright?"

"Be careful." He smiles dreamily.

"Don't worry."

* * *

They know it's Matsukawa's home because the lad himself is sitting on the veranda, doing something on his computer.

It's a little past 5 P.M, a bit later than their estimation, but it wasn't because the traffic was being a bitch. Rather, the GPS was being a liar and they took the wrong turn four times. Miraculously, Iwaizumi is still calm, he doesn't feel like wanting to hit anyone. Even he gives an understanding hum to Hanamaki when he says that from this distance, Matsukawa looks even better than on the picture.

When they get off from the car, Matsukawa looks up, staring at Iwaizumi and recognizing him. He tilts his head back, seemingly calm as if someone had informed him earlier about their arrival.

"Well..." Matsukawa says, inviting them in. "I was sort of waiting for you to come."

Iwaizumi cocks his eyebrow. "Really?"

"Suga told me that you're dicking."

"Investigating."

"Sorry, I'm sort of a vintage person." He grins blandly, and looks at Hanamaki who looks just cool and uncaring for someone with instant crushing to this very dude. "I know you. Iwaizumi's close-knit friend."

"Hanamaki Takahiro." States the owner of the name. "That's his name, by the way."

"Okay, Hanamaki Takahiro."

There's no one in his home that evening, hence he sat alone on the veranda for he didn't want to stay inside alone. his mom is away helping his cousin arranging her son's birthday, and his dad will be home late. He tells them to sit in the dining table, saying that he's going to heat up the food that his mom had cooked.

For he looks adequate enough to be a caring host, Iwaizumi wonders why is it Matsukawa hasn't come back to Tokyo and starts attending classes normally. Even yesterday he heard from Daichi that Kuroo had attended his class; though it was only his favorite class, and then he decided to spend the rest of the day cramming himself in the library to get his one full week worth of assignments done.

Instead of asking for it, Iwaizumi asks if there's something that he can do to help him. But it's unnecessary, for the curry has been served on the table only a short moment after the question escaped his lips.

"Let's eat first," the host says, putting down a jar of warm rice on the table. "That's all I can think about for now."

Deja vu, isn't it? Why is it every single one of Oikawa's friends can't speak to him without offering something to eat? It's like showing hospitality is the only right manner against curious and adamant ex-almost-lover. But anyways, he's hungry enough to let it go, and he's assuring himself that the sooner he finishes eating, the sooner he gets to make Matsukawa talk and reveal the only thing he needs.

After the food from their plates gone, Matukawa serves them cold water, but if they want other beverage they can get it in the fridge themselves — and to this, Hanamaki gets up to take a Dr. Pepper.

Amusement tugging on each corner of Matsukawa's lips doesn't go unnoticed by Iwaizumi. Later when they go to the other World (or whatever it is they call the dimension where Oikawa is to be saved) where these two boys don't meet like this, he makes a mental note to introduce them to each other. Because reasons.

"So," Iwaizumi starts, leaning forward on the chair. "I understand that it's scarce to ask, but did you and Oikawa have a plastic cake knife back in the apartment?"

Slowly, Matsukawa's eyes widen. Not like he's surprised by the question, but because he understands what exactly lays beneath. It's like a Morse code that only him and Matsukawa, and probably Sugawara, know about. With this, Matsukawa is supposed to understand the situation and maybe, he will empty the closet.

"Yes, we had that. Oikawa loved bakery; especially the sweet ones. He was fond of bread and cake. Sometimes he brought home milk bread as big as baseball bat, and even the maniac couldn't wolf it down in one go. So, yes, we had something like that to slice the cake and giant bread."

Iwaizumi doesn't know if it should make him relieved or even more pressed. But one thing for certain is, there's something electric rushing inside him. The sensation of knowing, the closest as he can get.

"I see..."

"You see?" Hanamaki blinks at him, lost. "What do you see from such answer?"

"Assurance that I'm in the right boat."

"What?"

Sighing, he looks at his friend closely. "I'll tell you everything about it later, alright?"

"You sure look very certain." Matsukawa goes, getting on his feet and fetch two cans of Sprite for himself and Iwaizumi.

Popping the can open, he says, "I have to be, for my own sanity. Which, by the way, makes me wonder: how does it feel like to be the last person that Oikawa called?"

"Are you jealous?"

"Not precisely so. But I do hope he would have said something to me that night," there, he drops another hint, and Matsukawa purses his lips. "What were you two talking about? Sugawara and the others said they trust you in general, but they don't believe that Oikawa called due to nightmare. Mainly because they can't see Oikawa sleeping in the first place."

Matsukawa holds up his hands. "I lied about that," he admits rather easily.

"Why did you lie?"

"Did you love him, Iwaizumi?"

"Oikawa?" He nods his head, thinking about the beautiful spirit in his apartment, probably playing his video games this moment. "I do love him quite a lot."

"You did love him."

"No. I do love him. Present Tense."

This seems to make Matsukawa frown. "You don't know who you love, then." He reports a bit angrily. "If you did, you would have known why I lied at all. It's dangerous, hiding information from the cops. If they decide to get the phone company to reveal the content, I'll be busted. But it's all that I could do for him."

"Then, what did he say to you, _Mattsun_?" Iwaizumi gives the emphasize to the nickname, irritated at himself for using this lame tactic, but sometimes, sacrifices need to be made.

As expected, this only upsets Matsukawa. But still, shaking his head, the man answers, "He asked me to call my Uncle. When he was a child, my Uncle was his psychiatrist, and that night he asked me to let him talk to my Uncle and he was completely hysterical that I was scared and thought about going back to Tokyo." He pauses, looking at the watch. "However, he calmed down and said that he would try to sleep. Still, though, I was worried sick and decided to go by train leaving at 10 AM. But then, Bokuto called me about Oikawa, and I was catatonic. See? The goddamn chilling call, it was not something that I could simply tell the cops. He would be seen as an insane."

"Because he had asked to speak to his child psychiatrist?" Iwaizumi shakes his head, unamused. "I shouldn't think so."

"Well, damn, I knew he wouldn't be seen as a crazy just because he wanted to talk to his child psychiatrist. It's common to wanna talk to someone that can give you comfort. I understand that. But what you have to know is: my Uncle, Oikawa's child psychiatrist, had passed away when we were in high school. And he knew that."

Sound of Hanamaki's empty soda can hitting the floor is almost deafening. Unfortunately, not enough to startle him out of his daze. What was Matsukawa even trying to say? It was really absurd.

"Are you saying Oikawa was insane?" Hanamaki says belligerently, making Iwaizumi nearly drown in gratitude because he took the action in his stead.

"Did I say so?" Matsukawa looks at him passively. "Had he truly insane, I wouldn't be worried about making the cops thought so, didn't I? No, Oikawa wasn't insane."

"Then, what? What is it? Why are you hiding things from people? Surely, you know you can be sued for this?!"

"Well, what the fuck else do you want me to do? I couldn't possibly step on his face and reveal what he wanted to hide! It's not my secret to tell. I've got no right."

Hanamaki nearly throws his hands on Matsukawa's face at this point, and Iwaizumi wonders why didn't he let this reliable sidekick of his to be the lead inquisitor. "Yes, you have! Of course you have the right, Matsukawa! He was your bestfriend, and God forbid, if the same happened to Iwaizumi, you better believe I wouldn't withdraw anything from the police if that means bringing his killer behind the bars." His body is nearly shaking with fury. "Or this: think about it. It might be Oikawa's secret, but it's your secret as well! He shared that with you, so it belongs to both of you, and you need to fucking tell us what it is if you really do care about Oikawa. Oh my fucking God."

Truthfully, for a second, Matsukawa looks like he almost strike Hanamaki over the face. But it's gone as fast as it came. He looks at him with calculating eyes, trying to picture himself baring everything with both of them. Luckily, he can picture it, and he feels like he's found the right ones.

Looking down, in gravely voice, he narrates, "The first time I met Oikawa was at third grade of primary school in my Uncle's clinic. I was accompanying my mom to give him, my Uncle, a chocolate fudge cake, and Oikawa was under post-traumatic treatment..."

* * *

9 November, 12.57 AM

To state the obvious, Oikawa always enjoys the sound of the apartment door unlocking, followed by the sight of Iwaizumi coming home. But that afternoon, no particular reason why, his no longer beating heart makes a leap, body suddenly obese with bliss, and Iwaizumi looks more gorgeous than ever.

With good manner that can only belong to one of the knights riding on white horse in classic romantic novels, Iwaizumi picks him by the hand, whispering in his ear, "I wanna dance with you..."

Oikawa chuckles giddily. "Why? What happened when you were visiting Mattsun? Missed me too much?"

"You know I will miss you that much. Always. No matter what."

As a response, he hums happily, closing his eyes as they not quite dance, but more like half-holding each other as they move about the small apartment.

Typical Iwaizumi, he knows where to touch. He knows how to make Oikawa feels like he doesn't have to worry about where he might fall, because this is nothing like falling; there's no worry, no fear, no nothing. Iwaizumi feels like walking in a field of sunflowers in the summer, feels like bathing in hot spring in winter, feels like eating after starving for days, and he certainly feels like his rawest, deepest desire finally fulfilled.

"I know who killed you." Iwaizumi goes.

Oikawa wants him to shut up and keeps prolonging the beautiful atmosphere between them. But he can't be selfish and stupid. Iwaizumi has worked so hard since he appeared in his apartment without any notification and preamble beforehand.

"Who is it, then?" He asks with springy voice. Being held like this by Iwaizumi, he will be able to handle the news, however gruesome and painful that might be.

"It's funny, Oikawa," Iwaizumi draws back, they're staring at each other. "That you asked for the help of your own killer to find who had killed you."

"...That was such a confusing phrasing, Iwa-chan. I can't really understand."

"What I'm trying to say is: I killed you."

"Was that supposed to be a zany joke?"

Iwaizumi blinks at him. "No, it was supposed to be a confession." He holds Oikawa's hand and puts it on his shoulder. "If only you didn't lose your memory, you would have known that we were fighting three days before I killed you. A bigheaded selfish douche like you. You are easy to forget about people that you had lowered with your picaresque words."

"..."

"So, how is it? Dying like this, and only able to depend on someone that's not going to save you?"

Oikawa wants to jerk away, but Iwaizumi's hands are firm on him. He eyes the first person that he can imagine leading a romantic life with. A beautiful man that he had known would be able to cure the sickness in him since the first day ever.

"It makes absolutely no fucking sense, Iwa-chan. If you were the one that killed me, why did you go through all those troubles to find my killer," he tries to reason. "You would have been fine just by letting the thirty days to slide away."

"I appreciate you very much, Oikawa. I've always known you are brilliant, and if I didn't appear busy, you would have gone and look for the answer yourself. It's not impossible for you to figure it out, and if you found out? What would you do? Finding way to make me dig my own grave?" Iwaizumi frowns, shaking his head, as if finding the idea impossible rather than bothering him. "Can't let you do that, Oikawa. I'm afraid I can't possibly let you stay here even for a little longer. So, we're sending you back to the time before you die..." He cocks his eyebrow. "Try to remember this information before you fuck up and let me kill you again, yes? Because no one is going to save you."

The bubbles of bliss disappear in a second from every parts of his body, bewilderment and disgust replacing them, making him step back and stare at Iwaizumi dead in the eyes, trying to understand the situation with the horror hammering him over the head, painfully.

Iwaizumi is silent when they look into each other's eyes. And all that he can think about is how: He, Oikawa Tooru, didn't misjudge people. Since he was betrayed by someone that he had trusted when he was only a little boy, he had learned to fend for himself, to filter people surrounding him, and never failed to do it.

So why the fuck Iwaizumi should be able to get in when he had been shutting harmful people away from his life for more than eleven years? It's sick and wrong.

But it's just so convincing.

His hazel eyes turning cold like that, his face so rigid and perfectly expressionless — that if Oikawa were to stab his cheek, maybe he wouldn't bleed at all because it wasn't a face.

It was a mask.

However, they're just two actors in this coldly and horribly confusing world.

They can't run away from the rules.

And now that Iwaizumi has convinced him for one thing, the windows of his apartment suddenly open and invisible hands pulling both of them toward it, to a hole of blinding lights and frozen matter.

Only, as Oikawa plunges down into it, he knows for sure that he's not convinced about Iwaizumi killing him. This conviction, however, is just enough to throw them back in time; it's strong and demanding.

Just before his memory is taken away from him again, Oikawa realizes that this stern and firm feeling doesn't belong to him. This desire to protect and this overwhelming wish to save, this is not his.

He hopes Iwaizumi knows what he's doing, because this very moment, they're traveling time, and this is the only chance that he will ever ge—

Oikawa Tooru can't recall anything.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...the ending was a bit of The Smiths. And people, this is what you came for(;

November 8

They're out in the park, deep at night, sitting on the hood of a car belongs to Hanamaki's mom. This is it, his last chance to explain to his friend what has happened to him lately, because tomorrow they're going to go back to the other timeline, in which Iwaizumi wouldn't behave curiously and Hanamaki wouldn't be curious about it.

He opens the curtain by, "I've got most peculiar days, Makki. First thing you have to know is: I'm not crazy, I'm as sane as the Iwaizumi that you know. Even saner, somehow. So, whatever I'm going to say to you, you have to believe that it is so."

"Okay." Hanamaki turns his head.

"Oikawa has been haunting me lately," Iwaizumi lets out his breath, looking up at the dark sky with glimmering dots. "And I don't mean haunting as in, going horror movie on me. He came with me one night in his human form, and asked me to go find his murderer. Apparently, it doesn't happen all the time, his condition. But I think I understand now why he's here, and the reason why he's given the Second Chance. There's something for him to do."

To his credits, Hanamaki only looks a bit dazzled. He doesn't even question him about Oikawa haunting him. Instead, he replies, "What is it that he has to do?"

"Well, what else? Living, of course. And not just living, actually. But live with the understanding that he could get better; that he's way much more than one flawed and tainted person. He said to me last night, how people are sick and sicker and sickest. It's only the matter of how clever they hide it, and that's why he's given the Second Chance. To live again, and learn that while people, each and every one of us, has that sick seeds resting within us, we can choose to not grow the seeds and not make the sickness blooms. He needs to know that. And since I've found his killer, everything makes perfect sense to me."

"You know who killed him?" Hanamaki jerks forward, almost smacking him.

He nods his head. "I know. I've had my guess when Sugawara showed me the size of the cake. You might not know, but the cake size is important here. It's just a small detail, so freaking small that I didn't think about it further because it got so many weak points. Even I knew as much. But still, knowing the size was important."

"Who killed him, Iwaizumi?"

"Oikawa's killer..." Iwaizumi's mouth suddenly feels dry, his heart beating so fast it aches. "...is Oikawa himself. It was not a murder, Hanamaki. It was a suicide."

Hanamaki blanches. "What the fuck, Iwaizumi? The cops said it was a murder! Where's this suicide came from?"

"Don't scream! We're in public facility at two in the morning!" He makes a shushing gesture. "And this why I've stopped wanting to get into the police agency, Makki. The cops claimed it was a murder because, what? Oikawa was stabbed from behind and the window was broken? Don't kid me! Oikawa was brainy as hell. He could have done that on his own easily!

"Since the beginning, this case has been weird, and that's because Oikawa was playing the paradox card in his own suicide. First is the knife. The killer used kitchen knife that Oikawa had used to slice cheesecake, as if the killer wasn't meaning to commit crime, but there was an argument or a fight and the killer had no other option than killing Oikawa, so the killer equipped the first thing that they saw; which happened to be the kitchen knife. But that doesn't make sense with the window, isn't it? When you come through someone's window at curious hour, most possibly, you can't have something good to say on your account. The window is like saying the killer had wanted to kill Oikawa in the first place, because by coming from window, they couldn't be caught by the security cameras. And the other two pieces are Oikawa's major mischief. He stabbed himself to death, but he didn't want anyone to know this. This was tough, because usually, if a killer tried to hide their fingerprints, they would have used gloves or wiped the prints away. If the knife handler only got Oikawa's fingerprints, the cops would have easily thought he had killed himself. Unfortunately, after he died, he couldn't take off the glove if he decided to use it, neither could he erase the fingerprints. So, what did he do? He did nothing about the fingerprints. If his fingerprints was the only prints on the knife handler, it wasn't a problem as long as the same thing happened to the whole room. That's what he did: cleanse every stinking fingerprints there was in the room and touched everything again so his fingerprints was the only thing appeared there. Certainly, the police could have thought the killer had simply erase their own fingerprints and touched Oikawa's fingers to the knife handler after they killed him. And this is the option that the cops took, because they only had found that the room was devoid of other people's fingerprints about a week after the death and had claimed Oikawa as murder victim long before. But Oikawa wasn't having it, he was trying to make sure no one found out that he had committed suicide, except for those people that he'd chosen to give clues," Iwaizumi looks into Hanamaki's eyes. "Do you understand?"

"That Oikawa was psychotic?" Hanamaki's face has grown pale, his eye twitching.

"Oikawa wasn't psychotic, Makki. It's not the message of this screwed suicide! He was a bit of an OCD, but not psychotic. No. Had he framed someone else for his death, then you could say he was. But since he didn't frame anyone and yet, he poured an effort to make his suicide looked like murder, you can only make one conclusion: he didn't want us to know he killed himself and try to figure out the reason why he committed suicide. Because Oikawa was so famous and loved, his suicide would have made everyone look for a reason why." Iwaizumi picks up a lint off of his jeans. "You heard from Matsukawa that Oikawa was molested by his own Aunt when he was a child. He had spent most of his childhood under intense mental treatment, and even so, he couldn't forget it entirely. His friends told me that he was celibate, never having sex with anyone. I guess the trauma was still controlling him somehow, making him feel disgusted with people, sexually. But he didn't mind hugging and cuddling with his friends, probably meaning he felt safe among them and he was sure his friends weren't going to harass him. And platonic skinship was a perfect substitute to his physical needs. And maybe... maybe, too, he was ready to try this out with me.

"You know, the first time we met, Oikawa was doing a photoshoot with females from magazine team. They were touching him all over, and they almost touched him in place that he saw as intimate and it scared him. But he didn't say that they had scared him. He only said he was feeling weird, so I helped them doing the photoshoot. Now that I think about it, I remember whispering to him, _'don't worry, I'm not going to violate you like these girls'_ or something like that jokingly, so he could ease up. First impression sticks, that applied to both of us, seemed like. Anyway, with Mikoto—"

"Mikoto assaulted Oikawa, didn't he?" Hanamaki spoke for him, knowing that it will hurt Iwaizumi to say it. Even Hanamaki cringes. "No way Oikawa would have had sex with him, right? It was such bullshit. We should have beaten the asshole to cripple, Iwaizumi! Son of Bitch caused Oikawa to commit suicide."

Iwaizumi can't manage to give any respond, not even by nodding his head or vaguely make body gesture. Kuroo said that he felt guilty, like he had been the one to cause Oikawa to die, and he felt so bad for some reason that he couldn't even explain. Well, Oikawa wouldn't have been assaulted had they stick together, maybe. But it wasn't his fault entirely. If Iwaizumi thought Kuroo was guilty for leaving Oikawa to horrid fate that he couldn't tell, then everyone was guilty as well.

Also, maybe what Mikoto said was honest; that it was just sex and not sexual harassment. Oikawa was drunk that night, making it possible for him to not know his correct state of mind, and he was a young man with repressed sexual desire. He could have done it on the spur of the moment, and later, found it disgusting and making him remember the past because he did it with someone that he didn't really, mentally want. Maybe Matsukawa thinks the same as well — which explains why he hasn't suggest anything about the possibility of Oikawa being assaulted. He thinks it wasn't an assault.

But at the end of the day, the output would still be the same. And they are grieving.

Breaking the swelling silence, Hanamaki says, "Explain to me how you found out."

"I told you, it began from Sugawara's description of the cheesecake size. Sugawara had said that the night before Oikawa died, Oikawa called him to his apartment and said that he bought iced cheesecake and he couldn't finish it alone. But why couldn't he finish it alone? Oikawa loved sweet bakery, and the cake was just a small, one person cake. I asked Matsukawa whether they had plastic cake knife, remember? He said they had one, because Oikawa loved to buy cakes. But he sliced the cake using kitchen knife big enough to stab a healthy young man to death, and this is a single-serving cake we're talking about.

"Before Matsukawa confirmed that they had cake knife, I only thought it was weird that Oikawa invited Sugawara over to share small cake he could have eaten alone. I was going to ask Sugawara whether he thought Oikawa was trying to let him know something from there, but Sugawara immediately lashed out, defensive, and like he was going to hit me if I continued to speak. I wasn't about to say what he thought I might said, but from his action, I understood as much. Deep down, he knows that Oikawa had killed himself. Oikawa cared about his friends, and who knows? He showed Sugawara that the knife belonged to him. Maybe it was symbolism. Sugawara is a literary student, right? Oikawa was hoping he would catch the clue, to translate the unsaid. Also, Oikawa decided to kill himself much later after Sugawara left apartment to make sure the forensics wouldn't estimate his death time close to when Sugawara was visiting him.

"By the way, I had my first guess from the cake, and everything opened to me once we questioned Mikoto and Matsukawa and he told us about his childhood with Oikawa. If you want, you can try to force Matsukawa to speak this out. He would say the same like me: Oikawa had committed suicide. That's why he withdraws the information, hiding the content of the call. He knows the cops would go question him about his Uncle had he told them, and it was the last thing Oikawa wanted to happen: for lots of strangers to find out his trauma."

Hanamaki gives the silence it deserves. Looks up, goes, "What will you do, then?"

"I will lie to him." Iwaizumi crosses his arms over his chest. "Oikawa said, once I convince him about his killer's identity, we will be sent back to the time for me to prevent his death. Even if it's wrong, as long as I can convince him, we'll still time travel. So, I'm going to say that I had killed him, and I will be able to save him."

"Why not just tell the truth, Iwaizumi?" Hanamaki asks in complaining manner.

It makes him crack a smile. "I can't, idiot. I can't say to his stupidly beautiful face that he was his own killer. Let alone saying that someone had molested him again. When you are in love with someone, you don't only carry their heart and their feelings. But also the responsibility to take away their burden and protect them and make them not hate themselves. I can't let Oikawa to know, for otherwise he wouldn't have the will to live and to be saved. I can't let it happen, even if it's only for some brief moment. It's better for him to feel disappointed in me, I'm sure he would be able to feel that I love him a lot."

Hanamaki slaps him on the back, laughing. "Shit. I didn't know you're a lopsided romantic, you amazingly heroic asshole."

"Who the fuck cares?" Iwaizumi chuckles. "You'll forget I said that soon, anyways."

* * *

October 22, 10.39 PM

Iwaizumi is in Hanamaki's bedroom.

After accompanying him to Odakyu and bought some vodka in a shop out of town with his fake ID (because Hanamaki can't risk himself being caught by his one of his dozen extended families) Iwaizumi decides he's too tired to come back to his own apartment and he's staying the night.

Or at least, that was how it happened that night. All the choices and actions that had led to Oikawa's death.

Iwaizumi can't really explain it, but it seems like he's really time traveled.

"Oi, your turn to use bathroom." Hanamaki reports, going to set him a futon.

But Iwaizumi gets up and puts on jacket again, making a way to the bedroom door. "Sorry," he announces. "There's something I've gotta do tonight, I forgot."

"Eh. It's almost eleven."

"Yeah, I know, but well..."

Hanamaki looks at him first, cocking an eyebrow, then holds up a finger and walks out from his bedroom. Iwaizumi follows.

Downstairs, he's surprised to have Hanamaki's motorbike keys thrown his way. "Use it," the owner goes. "make sure to keep my baby 'till I get her tomorrow, OK? Where are you going anyway?"

Iwaizumi chuckles at him, shrugs. "Confessing my undying love to Oikawa."

"No shit. Seriously, human."

"Seriously, Makki. I'm going to."

"Oh, choosing it at night, huh? Smart," he gives a meaningful grin. "Tell me all about his... you know, stuff, tomorrow, yeah?"

"Like hell." Iwaizumi bursts out laughing, and leaves Hanamaki's house on the motorbike with relatively light mood.

He's known his destination, a small bar not far from Bokuto's apartment. What he doesn't know, though, whether Kuroo and Bokuto have left the place or no.

Not wanting to waste time, he picks up the speed as fast as he dares.

Approximately ten minutes later, Iwaizumi gets off from the motorbike and runs towards the bar. A bouncer asks him to show his ID, and for the first time he actually wonders why he's such a pussy crude that never thought about how much of a luxury those IDs are. Usually, for occasional boozes, he could depend on Hanamaki's, but for this, he most certainly can't use his friend's.

"Sir," Iwaizumi says in his best gentlemanly voice, thinking that politeness usually works, even on these tough guys. "I just need to get my friend inside, he's a brunette, came with his two friends earlier. Could you let me inside?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't let underage enter."

"Please... this is very, very important."

"Why don't you phone him?"

"It went to the voicemail," Iwaizumi replies, ready to plead if it comes down to it. "Please, Sir, it's..." he gulps down. He can't possibly say Oikawa would commit suicide tomorrow if he didn't save him now. But. "...a life is at stake here, Sir."

That gets him the Bouncer's attention. He eyes him seriously, straightening his back. "Hold up," he says and speaks into a walkie talkie that he drew from his back pocket. "Is there a brunette inside?" He turns to Iwaizumi, asking for more bodily descriptions. "Pretty tall. Good-looking. Flashy enough not to miss... eh, what?"

Iwaizumi smiles apologetically, but it's true anyway, and man asked for physical traits.

"He's there?" The man confirms with his partner on the other side. Iwaizumi nearly cries in relief, but he swallows down that mushiness and asks him to make Oikawa come out, saying that Iwaizumi is here.

Not too long later, Oikawa shows up, looking pretty smashed, but still flashy and too good to look at. Iwaizumi's heart plummets. He's so fucking in love with this annoying bastard, and he's not going to let him go away from him; not again, not like that.

Like display of the fancy shops on Christmas night, Oikawa's face lights up prettily, the alcohol makes his skin flush.

"What are you doing here, Iwa-chan?"

"Come with me, Oikawa." he tugs him on the wrist, bowing his thanks to the bouncer, and Oikawa giggles giddily as Iwaizumi leads them to the motorbike.

Putting his hand on the vehicle, Oikawa goes, "Ahhhh, so cool! I want to ride on this with Iwa-chan. This is yours, riiight?"

"It's Hanamaki's, but we get to ride this."

"Really?" A wide, goofy smile. "Great!"

"Were you alone there?"

"Umm... Kuroo went to Kenma's, and Bokuto... that, I dunno. He went out."

Iwaizumi nods his head, so he makes it in time. Which is more than enough for him.

"Hey, Oikawa, are you drunk?"

"Moderately." He admits.

"But you can understand me, right? You will not remember what I'm going to tell you the next day?" Iwaizumi asks sternly.

"I don't think so." Oikawa taps his feet on the ground and sways a bit. "I'm pretty not drunk to stand straight and talk normal."

"Very much so, I see," Iwaizumi smiles a little, holding Oikawa's hands and entwines their fingers. "I love you."

Instead of cooing and swooning, Oikawa only gapes at him, as if he couldn't place Iwaizumi mentioning the words, ever. As if the absurdity of it never even make it to his list of wildest dreams. Understandable when you think about how ridiculously subtle he's always been about his feelings.

"Iwa-chan... it was too..."

"I love you quite a lot, Stupidkawa. You are the most fascinating and gorgeous guy I've ever known. I like that you buy giant milk breads and you overcooked your fish and the watery miso soup and I will buy you as many kani rolls as you want. I might sound like a thumping idiot to you now, but what I'm trying to say is: I am so goddamn in love with you, and these past handful of days had been the most difficult for me."

"Did Thor attack your beautiful head with his hammer, Iwaizumi Hajime-san?"

"Nah. But Fate did. I was thinking that while I could have been a lame tsundere forever, you might be gone from me, away to some place that I could never reach."

Oikawa laughs into the back of his hand. "What was even that? You made it sound like I'm going to die. That's harsh, Iwa-chan. I'm not going to die, and I don't plan to do so anytime soon. So, don't worry."

Startling Oikawa by pulling him into a claustrophobic and long and warm embrace is all that Iwaizumi could do to stop himself from making a fool of himself in front of this angelic devil that most likely will never let him forget it.

"Well, I'm most certainly not worried now," Iwaizumi says against Oikawa's brown hair. "And you're not sick. I'm going to show that to you, if you let me."

Oikawa's body tenses for a short moment, then he relaxes, wrapping his arms around Iwaizumi. "Surely I will let you, Iwa-chan. The pleasure and the privilege is mine."

**Author's Note:**

>  **TUMBLR >>>>** vivalackerman.tumblr.com


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